Fear

It has been a few weeks since we found out we were getting a baby boy. It is still so surreal. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone to call and say, "Just Kidding Alicia! You should have known things don't come easy for you!" I know that is just my own doubt and fears getting in the way. My middle name should be doubter. I have been a doubter my whole life. So, God is teaching me to TRUST him. My mind believes that God has a plan for my life, that this deep desire to rescue orphans is from him. I know he is sufficient to provide my needs and the needs of baby G.

You are probably thinking, this girl is crazy. She has this incredible baby boy waiting on her in Africa and all she can do is worry that somehow she won't get him. I know I am. I go from being so excited I literally can't stand it, to thinking through scenarios where the judge reads my information and decides someone with a disease isn't fit to be a mother. And again, God says trust me! My social worker is awesome, when I vocalize my fears to her she just dismisses them and says, "It is in Gods hands Alicia!" My poor sister Laura has been a constant encouragement to me. I don't know what I would do without these Godly people in my life, to remind me to snap out of it.

So, despite my crazy doubts, Jeff and I went and registered for some baby stuff today. I have a shower next week at home in Louisiana. It was so much fun. I have gone through 8 births of nephews and a niece and each time I have been overjoyed to welcome this new addition into our family. But it was so much fun to be planning for MY sweet baby G. He isn't going to know what hit him when he gets home. So much love from an enormous family and lots of sweet ladies at church who are already calling him their grandson.

Since I last updated, we found out the Ugandan Courts close from July 15 to August 15th. My agency is working hard to get us in before then but I seriously doubt that will happen. So right now we are thinking sometime quickly after the courts open back up.

I ask that you continue to pray for the things I asked in my last post.

Just to confirm to you that I am crazy, I am already starting to plan our next adoption. Crazy right? My hearts desire is to have a house full of children from different nations (including the U.S.). To me it is such a beautiful picture. I pray that God provides for the desires of my heart.

Alicia